That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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