I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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