I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
