So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
