Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Vodka?
Forever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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