dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she peed on how many people?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
