oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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