I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
