The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
