Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
