Whod you bang
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
