what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
