We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
