wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
