Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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