Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
