she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
