my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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