Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
