Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
