Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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