so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish i was in the wii world.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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