True but thats because hes a fetus.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize