ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
