dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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