woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
