Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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