It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
