just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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