Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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