Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
