I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
