my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
