her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize