So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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