What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
