remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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