his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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