sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
