idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
