somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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