Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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