it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
