Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
