no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
