Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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