Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
