im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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