____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
