I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she looked like the before picture.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
