I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
