DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
