I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
