You're my little dorito
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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