bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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