We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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