I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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