I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
