Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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