Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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