i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
