I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
