but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
