question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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