Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
