oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
