his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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