My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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