Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
