I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
