so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
