How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
