just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
