I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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